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Step Back & Step Up – to independence and adulthood.

By April 19, 2021No Comments

It is normal to reach a wall or obstacle in our life path and then try and climb over it.   Unfortunately, what we tend to do is stay at that point while the wall gets higher, our space darkens and our energy weakens.

So I help you to step back into the light and away from the wall.   We then build a series of 20-30 steps to get over the wall.

Each step is incremental and achievable.  As you climb you notice that the wall becomes smaller and other options and destinations come into sight.

Of course life is not so easy.  We need to be willing to change our circumstances, we must understand change  and believe in the strategy

The list below offers some suggestions to step up. The strategy of doing one a day and repeating them is to move forward and out of inertia.  Pick one a day or put them on cards and choose one at random.  Each step should take between 20 minutes to five hours.  Reward yourself afterwards.

SELF-CARE

  1. Keep a diary and maybe a personal journal or blog.
  2. Replace one toxic food item with a healthy alternative each day.
  3. Walk 5km a day or ride a bike 25km each day.
  4. Do some basic exercises or Yoga each day.
  5. Revisit a previous sport you enjoyed as a child.
  6. Dump some old clothes and get nicer ones at the Opshop (good karma).
  7. Manage your addictions….yes, that includes screentime.
  8. Ask your doctor for an annual check-up and include sun cancer checks.
  9. See your dentist for a check up or get some dental floss and a teeth whitening kit.
  10. Get an eyesight/hearing check ( can you read this?).
  11. Manage sleep with regular bed time routines such as reading a book, listening to a podcast or watching a predictable TV show.
  12. Avoid alcohol and drugs….or at least try a day without them
  13. Wash the windows – this always improves your outlook.
  14. Try meditation or at least some calming music.
  15. Get a haircut, hairstyle or hair accessory
  16. Go technology free each week for half a day.
  17. Cut your fingernails and toe nails….and don’t leave the cutting on the carpet!
  18. Put your phone on DO NOT DISTURB each evening and have some peace.

FINANCIALS

  1. Plan a yearly budget and then a fortnightly or monthly one, then a weekly one.
  2. Write down your spending each day or use a budgeting app on your iphone to track it.
  3. Cancel your credit card and use a debit card instead.
  4. Get a Concession or Student card and look for student or concession discounts.
  5. Take advantage of free trials at Gyms etc but remember to cancel the trial before having to pay the ongoing charges that they will take from your credit card.
  6. Do a free financial workshop with the Aust Tax Office, Centrelink or Superannuation provider.
  7. Check on your superannuation accounts and merger them if you have more than one (this saves money as each account charges you an administration fee).
  8. Ask for useful stuff when your birthday or Christmas is near.
  9. Sell unwanted stuff you own on Ebay or Gumtree.
  10. Consider buying furniture, stationery, electrical goods, cooking gear etc from OpShops (they are becoming a cost effective, community minded and green alternative).
  11. Make a card or present for someone rather than buying them something.
  12. Compare phone, internet, electricity and insurance plans to get a good deal.
  13. Drop your internet plan and just use the free data option off your iphone account or other free WiiFii.

EMPLOYMENT

  • Write a one page CV that can be sent as a .pdf  to anyone interested – keep it honest.
  • Take a photo of yourself to add to your CV – one that represents you.
  • Ring Centrelink  to find out about your supports that are available to you (what is your Customer Reference Number – CRN?).
  • Join Linkedin, SEEK etc and put your CV online.
  • Get a Unique Student Identifier (USI)  from  https://www.usi.gov.au/
  • Do an online course and keep the certificate of completion.
  • Visit the Student Centre at university/TAFE and chat to someone about courses.
  • Talk to a neighbour, family friend, etc about their career.             
  • Learn an employment related computer skill or other skill.
  • Get your First Aid Certificate, Blue Card, Yellow Card, Construction Industry Induction Card etc
  • Get your driving licence.
  • Ask people your worked for to be your Referee in the future and maybe ask them to write you a Referee Report
  • Ask a neighbour or friend to Write you a Personal Referee Report.
  • Keep work or study items in a single space and don’t let them contaminate the rest of the place
  • Get a Student or Concessional Go Card for public transport

BASIC LIVING

  • Learn to use the washing machine on all settings. 
  • Read the care labels on your expensive clothes
  • Change the bag on the vacuum cleaner and then use it.
  • Change a light bulb to one of different brightness, hue, or change to low cost LED.
  • Find out where the fuse panel is in your home and see if includes a Safety Switch.
  • Learn to use the microwave on all settings.
  •  Bake some biscuits or cupcakes with a cake mix.
  • Learn to use the oven without incinerating the meal
  • Incinerate a meal on the BBQ – no, just sear the meat.
  • Do a free home maintenance workshop at Bunnings (offered each weekend)
  • Sanitise the Rubbish bins and Wheely bin.
  • Go through the fridge and pantry and dump everything that looks unhealthy or expired.
  • Plan a holiday to another state….maybe to visit a relative or old friend.
  • Write a list of items that you would take on a holiday
  • Before bed, put fresh clothes out ready for the next day and old clothes in the wash
  • Shop for a week’s food in one single visit to the supermarket.
  • learn online banking with your own bank account– including daily withdrawal limits
  • Plan your day at breakfast or before bed  and write it down and do it.
  • Understand Tax, Centrelink, Medicare – this can be done by opening a MyGov account
  • Get your own Medicare card and sign up for an E-Health record
  • Make something useful from scrap ( or from recycled objects) – a set of shelves, coffee table, bedside table, hat stand, wall art, etc.
  • If a parent or friend offers to drive you to an appointment let them drop you a kilometre away and you walk the rest.
  • Get your passport (maybe ask for one for your birthday as they are expensive)
  • De clutter your drawers and put old sock and undies in the bin.

CONNECTIONS TO PEOPLE

  • Tell someone that you appreciate them…this includes a parent.
  • Each evening make a list of the people you connected with that day.
  • Make a list of people who sap your energy or lessen your self esteem, then manage the relationship to reduce these effects.
  • Join a Meetup group or other online group that shares your values or interests. 
  • Dump toxic connections and unfollow groups or chats that are toxic.
  • Ask a parent to show you the family photo album and then take photos of some you like and make your own digital album of people and events important to you.
  • Draw a map of your friends and family who are connected to you.  Use concentric circles to place acquaintances on the outside and the few trusted people on the inner circle.
  • Ring a grandparent or older uncle/aunt – they are so understanding and ,,,,,maybe lonely.
  • Ring a cousin or other family member you have not connected with in a while.
  • Unfollow toxic people on social media or block toxic people on your phone.
  • Pat the dog/cat etc.
  • Do some gardening
  • Adopt a pot plant and tell it that you will care for it.
  • Collect some flowers or foliage and put into a vase.

MEANING OF LIFE

  • Talk to people and realise we are all ONE.
  • Read a book that helps you understand the world.
  • Keep a collection of inspirational quotes.
  • Collect songs or poems that mean something to you.
  • Watch a film that helps you understand the world.
  • Take a walk in the rain or in the forest.
  • Sit on the beach and watch a sunset.
  • Express yourself through music (or at least sing in the shower).
  • Express yourself through art (or at least doodle a bit or do a Colour-in Book).
  • Look into your ancestry and ask older family members about it.
  • Look into your cultural and religious background for meaning – kinship matters.
  • Put some nice artwork on the walls or your room or house.

MANAGE YOUR RESOURCES

  • Keep your list of passwords safe and secure.
  • Put security software on your computer.
  • Backup your phone contacts, etc.
  • Put passcodes on iphone tablet and computers
  • Defragment your computer and backup to free cloud-based storage ( iCloud, One Drive., etc)
  • Clean up your room and set up a desk.
  • Wash and sort your clothes into categories.
  • Clean the car you use and  check the tyres, oil. Brake fluid and windscreen washer.
  • Take out minimum Third Party Property car insurance.
  • Tidy your wardrobe and shelves.
  • Clean out and organise your backpack, handbag or wallet.
  • Declutter the Apps on your phone and computer.

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